I haven't taken any photos or written anything or read anything for a very long time.

I feel completely uninspired and unmotivated.

For someone who doesn't really have all that much to do I feel so busy and tired.

Always tired.

I wish I had a job I didn't care about working for people I didn't know so that I could take tomorrow off and have a day off to catch up.

If I lived closer to the city there would be less issues. But then I would probably feel worse because sometimes feel that coming home is the only time to escape, to a place surrounded by trees and very far from people cars places temptations strangers.

All of this is very ironic because I am going on a holiday to a tropical place on saturday for a week. Going on holiday makes me more stressed because there are things I absolutely have to do before then that I have been putting off but now I have no choice. It's good because it forces me to do it, but then I get that icky feeling in my arms and legs, like claustrophobic frustration because I'm doing things I don't like doing and don't want to be doing.

Even more ironic is that here I am writing all this to procrastinate.

I should be happy because I'm going to one of my favourite places on the Earth.

I am happy. I will be. When I'm on the plane. And everything's done.